Musings
by GirlWithin
Summary: Professor Granger and Professor Malfoy have their differences and are content with staying away from one another. However, a certain incident has the Hogwarts rumor mill buzzing with the two's new liason and so called budding love.
1. Paper Snow

**Disclaimer:** I own NADA of Harry Potter in this world. In my world, I own all.

**FullSummary:** Hermione is a Professor at Hogwarts with none other than Draco Malfoy. How will she ever survive the taunts of her collegue and the problematice troubles from her students. And when trouble arises, will she be able to step up to the plate...with Malfoy?

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**Chapter 1: Paper Snow**

The day dawned bright and early one October morning.

From beneath the comforting red and gold quilt, a body yawned loudly and turned over to open her eyes. Hermione Granger smiled sleepily before hopping out of bed, squealing as her toes made contact with the cold floor.

She quickly slipped into fuzzy red slippers before trundling off to the showers. However, she made a detour to the full-length mirror that stood next to her closet. She gave herself a quick one-over then lifted her head up, grinning like a maniac.

Her eyes roved over her skinny form, broad shoulders, long legs, and freckled arms. She knew she wasn't gorgeous like Fleur or even pretty like Ginny. But she had long ago stopped caring about prettiness. Beauty got you nowhere when compared to wits.

Ever since the beginning of her fifth year, she had taken to looking at herself in the mirror every morning. It wasn't because she was vain or cared a twit about her looks, but by seeing her disheveled hair and rumpled clothes, she reminded herself that she was alive and well.

And being alive and well was very crucial. After all, being best friends with Harry Potter had not been easy.

00000

Her shoes clicked loudly on the floor as she strode towards the Great Hall. She paused every so often to bid some portraits 'good-morning' or to peek outside one of the magnificently large glass windows. It was mornings like these that made her so glad; so happy.

She had just passed by the empty and dark Charm's classroom when she heard a soft patter of feet and the loud breaths of an unwary student. Hermione planted herself in the middle of the hallway and waited.

The panting first year jogged around the corner then froze in horror when he caught sight of the hands on hips and the impatient tapping foot.

He scuffled the floor. "Good morning Ms. Granger," he said sullenly.

"Mr. Jarvis, do you understand that there is absolutely _no_ running in the corridors? I believe this is the third time I have caught you at it." Hermione pursed her lips as the boy in front of her scowled.

"Sorry ma'am. Won't happen again."

Hermione sighed, "That's what you _all_ say. What have I told you about running?"

The boy rolled his eyes and huffed in annoyance. "I'll forget where I'm going, then I'll smash into a stone wall, break my nose, and waste Madame Pomfrey's time."

Hermione frowned at the boy's exasperated tone. He should be thanking his lucky stars that she was so happy today. Normally an even longer lecture would have come.

"Alright, Mr. Jarvis. You may be dismissed and NO running."

The boy's eyes lit up and he looked ready to kiss her.

"Oh thank you Professor! I won't do it again. See you later in class."

Then he dashed off, leaving Hermione to her thoughts. She just couldn't understand why students refused to follow directions. Her job would run so much more smoothly if there were no rule breakers. Although teaching was a dream come true, she always had her moments of doubt. After all, she was still so young (for a professor, that is). All the rest of the professors were veterans at teaching and _she_ was still a novice. She could still remember her years as a student herself, raising her hand at every opportunity and traipsing around with her friends.

Harry and Ron. How she missed them. Being at Hogwarts wasn't the same without those two. Of course they still met up every two weeks to chat, but things were so much _quieter _without the threat of Voldemort. Bless Harry's heroic heart.

Her reminiscing ended abruptly as her ears tuned in to the hum of the Great Hall. She could hear students calling to one another, laughing loudly.

She turned sharply to the left and entered through the staff door to the table at the very front. Dropping down into her seat, she immediately grabbed a warm blueberry muffin and happily watched the steam rise as she pulled a piece off. She then turned her attention to the students below.

She loved seeing her students interact with each other, become friend with each other…fall in love with each other like any family would. It fascinated her to no end on who became friends with who. How exactly were friends chosen? The human mind was an unending mystery that she loved to mull over. Ever since mid first year, she had gotten to thinking about friendship. It wasconfusing as to why the Golden Trio _had_ become the Golden Trio.

Her mother had always told her to put faith in herself, but it was very hard to when you were a plain old bookworm. Why _did_ Harry and Ron every like her? They were lazy, fun, and easygoing while she was prim, studious, and over compulsive. The equation just didn't work out. Yet, somehow it had and she was blessed with those two trolls.

Her eyes were drawn to a head of black unruly hair, so familiar to her. She smiled softly when the boy threw an arm around his friend, singing loudly. It didn't seem so long ago when Harry and Ginny got married. How had time gone by so quickly? Here was their son, a rowdy fifteen-year-old, already. She still remembered Ron's astonished face at the maternity ward.

Hermione couldn't help but grin as she continued watching Harry's son sing along with his red haired friend, and not tomention, cousin. Those two were absolutely inseparable. James Potter was everything his grandfather had been. Loud, arrogant, cocky, and utterly adorable. Yet he had a softness that only Ginny could supply. Ryan Weasley had kept his father's awkwardness yet gained his mother's, Lavendar Brown, confidence and sauciness.

Harry and Ron were always constantly reminding her of settling down and having little terrors just like them. But, she just couldn't seem to find Mr. Right. No one seemed to fit her standards.

QUALITIES MR. RIGHT SHOULD HAVE 

_Be absolutely gorgeous (but not too much so that others will be interested)_

_loyal (no cheating bastards, please)_

_smart (but I will always be the know-it-all)_

_funny (but not in the stupid way…like Ron)_

_someone who can have his own opinion and debate it_

_friend of the arts and sports_

_sexy and sophisticated (like really expensive wine)_

_Great Kisser (…mmm…)_

Oh god. She was never going to find someone.

She watched as Ryan tired of singing and dug into his full plate, shoveling food at an amazing rate. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. Now _that_ had Ron written all over.

James swung his legs over the bench and sauntered over to the Slytherin table, politely greeting acquaintances until he was standing behind a girl with soft and straight black hair.

He tapped her on the shoulder and she whirled around, eyes suspicious yet delighted by this sudden turn of events.

Cassandra Chang-Zabini. One of the treasures of her generation.

James casually leaned onto the table, grinning as Cassandra's sweet mouth quirked upwards at him. Suddenly the boy found himself splayed out on the floor with Cassandra innocently beaming down at him from where she had just pushed him. James pouted and pretended to sniff.

"Oh Cass. You do stab my heart with your painful shoves that can only mean rejection. But I shall bear it…for you. For I am a gallant knight and will always cater to those in need of help. Do not worry, I shall teach you how to be polite and lady-like."

With that, he bounded up and slipped into the seatnext to the pretty girl. With a bit of friendly nudging and pushing, the two engaged in breakfast together.

Hermione laughed lightly. Warmly she murmured, "Those two are absolutely, positively…"

"Sickening, isn't it."

Hermione's shoulders sagged as the words were spitefully drawled into her ear. Her lips thinned into a contrite line as she turned to the side and saw _him._

Draco Malfoy. Bane of her existence.

He always was constantly hounding her, teasing her, and _reminding_ her of his very presence. What _she_ couldn't understand, was why? If he disliked her so much, why did he still bother her so much?

Although the war had been over for at least 5 years, he still liked to tease her about her lineage. Sometimes she felt like they were friends, flirting and insulting each other. His tone was less biting, his words less harsh, and his eyes softer.

She haughtily surveyed the blonde man.

"You just _had_ to ruin my morning, didn't you." She groaned when he leaned over and deftly stole half of her muffin. He bit into it, regardless of her bite marks, and smirked.

"Granger, granger, granger. I just _love_ ruining your mornings. It's a lovely reminder of just how amazing, perfect, handsome, smart, and wonderful _I_ am. Your…imperfections boost my ego up," he said smugly.

Hermione let her head slam down on the table and held back a scream.

Lifting her head back up she wearily asked, "What do you want, Malfoy? Are you done teasing me for the day? I'd much rather be without your sick presence."

A smirk was the only response she got. A smirk just _oozing_ with egocentricity and confidence.

"Granger. No need to be so rude. I just wanted to bid my most…favorite…colleague a warm 'good-morning'. However, that sickening display between Potty's boy and Cass killed my cheerful salutations right away."

A cold glare was the only response _he_ got.

Narrowing her eyes, she retorted, "Well I see nothing wrong with James and Cass getting along. They are a very cute couple and they are both wonderful students."

Malfoy pretended to retch and Hermione was horrified to see the lovely remains of her muffin all chewed up in his mouth.

"Oh gag me, Granger. Cass is a Slytherin. She'll never consider Potty Jr. as anything. They're only friends now. Nothing more."

Hermione scowled petulantly and crossed her arms.

"Oh yeah? Well, Malfoy. I would advise you to take a closer look at the two," she said triumphantly, using her own smug smile. Malfoy turned to the front and was just in time to witness Cass hugging James before departing for class.

Malfoy groaned, "We are doomed. The name of Slytherin will be scarred forever. Why a Potty boy? WHY?"

Hermione, still very hungry, reached for a croissant, only to have it snatched out of her hand. Malfoy grinned around his mouthful when he heard Hermione let out a cry of outrage. She was just fighting over a bagel with him, when the bell rang, signifying the beginning of class.

She happily chirped, "Free period for me! Class time for _you_, Blondie! Bye-bye. See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya."

Malfoy just stuck out a croissant-covered tongue before striding down the stairs and to the cold dungeons. Hermione relaxed a few more minutes (wait for the student traffic to die down) to avoid any stampedes in the hallways.

00000

Just as she passed the Headmistress' office entrance, the gargoyle sprung to life and Headmistress McGonagall hurried out. In her arms was a stack of papers.

Hermione, the still eager girl, turned around and greeted her frazzled friend. "Professor! How have you been? Would you like any help?" Professor McGonagall wiped her forehead of perspiration and smiled gratefully at Hermione.

"Oh my dear, would you? I'm off to a meeting right now and I really need to give these to one of the Professors," she smiled gratefully.

Hermione nodded her head furiously. "I would LOVE to help. You look so busy and I really do need the exercise. I'm getting tubby around the middle!" McGonagall raised an eyebrow as she surveyed her old student's petite and slim form.

She hoisted the stack of papers and dumped them unceremoniously into Hermione's arms with a relieved smile.

"You, my dear, was always my favorite student. Please make sure they stay in the correct order. One paper out of order could mess up the whole stack!" McGonagall started down the hallway before abrupting stopping and calling out, "Oh and the papers need to be delivered to Professor Malfoy!" Then she turned just missing the horrified look that passed across her errand girl's face.

_Malfoy! NO! _Hermione stomped childishly down the stairs, shivering as the temperature dropped bit by bit. She noticed that the dungeons had not changed the slightest bit since Snape had left. They were still cold, gross, and slimy. _Like Snape._

She heard his voice before she actually saw him. It seemed he was indulging himself in a little bit of student bashing. From the ruckus he was making, it seemed as if _he _were the child.

She heard a loud slam and the quick intake of breath from the students.

"INSTRUCTIONS! Why can't any of you _unworthy_ students read something as simple as THREE TIMES? Finnigan! Stop oogling at Ms. Thomas, it's making me nauseous." Hermione slowly pushed open the door and winced when it creaked loudly.

She was met with the wide staring eyes of a first year class. _Leave it to Malfoy to terrorize poor, little kids._ Giving a bright smile to the quivering students, she strode briskly into the room, eyes roving about for a shock of blonde hair.

He wasn't there.

"Professor Malfoy?" _Where in the hell is he? I just heard the prick. He can't have disappeared…no God would never be that nice._

Suddenly she noticed the room was quiet. Too quiet. The students were just…sitting there, as if waiting for something. She was about to step forward and address the students when suddenly she felt two large hands grab her waist and twist her around.

And out of pure defensive instinct, her arms shot up and out to reach for her wand. She was met with the sneering face of one roguish Potions Professor. She wasabout toraise her hands to push him, whenshe saw somethinwhitemove in the corner of her eye. Her head twitched to the side and she froze, unable to register the disastrous event.

Suddenly she was aware of how light her arms were, how empty her hands were. Then she heard the soft swoosh of paper flowing in the dungeon drafts, dancing in the air.

It wassnowing white paper.

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Well, here is a new story out and in a new perspective. Review for me please? **If I get over 15 reviews within two days I'll review in two days!**

- Luv GirlWithin


	2. Gettin'tipsy with Zach Old Boy

**Disclaimer: I don't own anthing or anyone except for some gingy ale.**

**I'll have to admit that I was pretty disappointed with the number of reviews I received for my first chapter. I need some motivation people! Reviews is money! **

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Chapter 2: Gettin' tipsy with Zach Old Boy **

Anger. Hot, boiling, pulsing anger.

Hermione seethed silently, desperately trying to keep her temper in check as the bell rang and students rushed out the room, sniggering.

The room was now littered with papers. McGonagall's papers. Papers all out of order.

Oh, was she in the bird shit now.

Her twitching eyes found the smirking blonde who was, at the moment, casually surveying the mess in amusement.

Raising an eyebrow at her clenched hands he drawled, "Well, Muddy. You sure as hell _mucked_ up _that_ one." He sneered a bit. "What are these anyways?" He stooped down and snatched a fallen slip.

His eyes quickly scanned the sheet then shot up and stared at her. Seconds passed. Then a minute passed. Hermione defiantly stared back; uncomfortably aware of how his eyes seemed to be boring into her.

Her heart leapt up into her throat as a noise gurgled from Malfoy. _Now you've done it. Malfoy's going to have a seizure because of you._

Soft at first then louder, until his mouth was wide open and his eyes were scrunched up. Then sound bubbled out like water from a fountain, free and _loud_.

He was laughing at her. And quite hard too.

"Do you know what these papers are? Do you?" He waved his sheet merrily under her nose. "These are the translated copies of a potion that McGonagall and I have been working on for ages. _Ages._ And you _know_ how important it is for instructions to be in order."

His eyes suddenly lit up with a revelation. "You'll probably be fired! Pack your bags Frizzhead, you're out." The he roared with laughter again.

Hermoine's anger dissipated and was replaced with horror. What had she done? McGonagall would surely be angry, especially since she had warned her about this exact event happening.

She could almost feel her dismissal letter in her hand.

And Malfoy. How dare he laugh at her! It was his entire fault, anyways. His entire bloody fault.

ooooo

"You two better explain why all my papers are now lying haphazardly all aver the Potions classroom floor before I fire you both." McGonagall closed her eyes and massaged her temples then regarded the two young adults sitting in front of her.

Stubborn silence.

Malfoy glanced at his partner in crime. She was resolutely staring at the floor, her hands twisted tightly together in her lap. Well, if she wasn't going to spill, then he wouldn't either.

Seconds passed. Then minutes.

Suddenly the silence was broken when a small and timid voice echoed throughout the room. "It was all my fault Professor."

Malfoy's head whipped around. _What the hell?_

Hermione lifted her head and stared calmly at McGonagall. "I am terribly sorry about the whole mess but you have to know that it was all an accident. Malfoy just…just bumped into me by accident. If you would like, I could spend all my free time putting the papers back in order."

McGonagall sighed wearily. She laced her fingers together and leaned forward. "Alright you two. Unfortunately, those papers were the only copies I had. BUT I am allowing you two to right the mistake by organizing them back to their original state…together."

She ignored the disgusted looks that appeared on their faces and dismissed them, closing her eyes wearily after they had walked out the door.

Hermione stared angrily at Malfoy's retreating back. She didn't _really _expect him to say "thank you" or anything but he could have at least had the decency to give her some sort of response. By the way he was stomping off, it was as if she had done him a great disservice by putting the blame on herself.

"Ungrateful bastard," she muttered loudly.

Malfoy halted abruptly, turned around and regarded her coolly.

He sneered at her condescendingly. "You think you're so great, don't you. Gryfinndor's Golden Girl. Potter's saint. Weasley's angel. Right. But you know what? This is the _real_ world, sweetheart. No one gives…a…shit."

He walked over to her until he was two feet away.

"You might think that what you did was noble, that you were…giving me a chance." He closed in on one more foot. "Open your eyes, Granger. It's a dog eat dog world out there. Ever heard of 'Darwinism'?"

She gasped when he took another step. He was close, too close. She stumbled backwards, reaching for her wand. Grasping it, she whipped it out and pointed it at his neck. She could feel her anger start to trickle back in and she was glad. For hate fueled, gave her the adrenaline to fight.

If Malfoy was the least bit surprised, he didn't show it. His face remained blank and his eyes were hard slate. But when he spoke, his voice was light and teasing.

"So you survived one war. Big deal. But the one difference between true fighters and you, is that softness, that inability to take and never give. You put too much faith in people like me."

She was definitely feeling nervous. His invasion of her private space was unsettling and rude. Didn't purebloods like him melt or something, being that close to a muggleborn?

She could feel both their bodies radiating heat and as she glared up at him, her mind began to become fuzzy. Some part of her brain recognized the smell of expensive cologne but was quelled immediately by a more important fact. He was way…too…close.

He seemed to notice her discomfort, as well, for he smirked and leaned even closer so that his forehead was almost touching hers.

She felt his breath fan down the side of her jaw as he turned his head. Placing his lips next to her ear, he whispered, "See Granger, there you go again trusting me. I'm _this_ close and you still haven't made one effort to hex me." She held back a shudder.

This was getting to be bit creepy. Malfoy breathing down her neck was so wrong, not to mention his evil inducing germs were probably infecting her at this very moment. She dreaded to think what would happen if a student were to walk around the corner.

Finally she pulled together her somewhat incoherent thoughts and pushed him away. Breathing heavily, she hoisted her wand back up.

"I swear, Malfoy. Get that fucking close to me again, and I won't hesitate to send my strongest hex at you. Clear?" She gritted her teeth when he wolfishly smiled at her.

"Crystal, Granger. See you around." With that said, he saluted and sauntered down the hall.

She watched him until he had turned the corner, before heading back to her room.

A nap and some dreamless sleep potion sounded very good at the moment.

00000

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…"

Malfoy cursed loudly, mentally banging his head against the wall. He had no idea what the hell just happened. Whatever it was, probably wasn't all too good. He hadn't meant to get so close to her. She just made him, with her bloody righteousness.

She was such a saint.

Her eyes were still wide and innocent; her soul not corrupted enough by the war to the extent of sadism.

He hated her for that.

And he had to admit that pushing her buttons, having her breath hitch, had been exhilarating. A turn on. Power over others was a wonderful thing. He was like a carpenter driving nails into her perfect little world.

Using a hammer had never felt so good.

00000

Hermione walked into her classroom and was surprised to see old Flitwick sitting behind her desk.

"Professor, what a surprise. Did you need something from my room?" she asked politely.

Flitwick looked at her in confusion. "My dear, this is the _Charm's_ classroom. The Transfiguration room is down _that _way."

Er…

Hermione faked an unconvincing laugh. "Heh, of course Flitty old dear. I was just testing you, to uh…make sure that you…know where your classroom is?"

Right-o. Way to confuse the poor fellow. Boy, was she brilliant! (cue in thumbs up and corny grin)

Slowly edging out the door, she flushed in embarrassment when Flitwick gave her a disturbed glance.

Quickly correcting her previous mistake, she hurried to the _right_ room and sat down heavily in her chair. Just as she was about to doze off, a tapping was heard from the window.

She opened the window and happily saw Hedwig soar in, letter tied to foot. After feeding the softly hooting owl some treats, she eagerly pulled out the letter.

_Dear 'Mione,_

_Great news! You know how Ron and I have been trying to get you settled down? Well, we have decided (out of the goodness of our hearts) to do just that. I'm sure you know that there is a Hogsmeade outing this weekend for the students. Instead of studying, grading, or whatever the hell you teachers do, come down. We…got you a blind date!_

_Love Harry_

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!"

00000

"Class, settle down."

Hermione sternly looked out at her class as the students flurried activities slowly settled down.

"Today, we will be learning how to transfigure these, into teapots," she brightly said as she yanked out a turtle.

Flicking her wand a few times, she levitated the wiggling turtles over to each desk.

Once the class had started, she walked around in half a daze. It was awful how distracted she was. How in the world did Harry expect her to teach after that letter? Blind date, her ass.

She remembered the last guy she had dated. A muggle and a perv. He really was a sweet guy and she actually thought that there was potential. But he went off and cheated on her with a two-pence slut. Her heart had been broken and Harry and Ron had broken his legs.

_10 ways to Get REVENGE on your cheating son of a bitch boyfriend_

_1. Sneak over to his house and steal his cute doggy._

_2. Then go to the store and buy a piece of fur that looks remarkably like his dog._

_3. Tie the limp, lifeless piece of fur to the chain. Showtime!_

_4. Pay his cousin to yell out, "He hits me and it hurts!" within police ears_

_5. On the pretense of getting your belongs back, leave your great-grandmother's heirloom ring in his nightstand._

_6. Report your ring stolen and hint your boyfriend's name to the authorities_

_7. Get him so smashed he can't talk, then take him to a tattoo parlor._

_8. Make sure the words, "I LIKE MEN" is big enough on his ass._

_9. Take a picture of his ass and send it in a -Thank you- card to the two-pence slut_

_10.Give your permission for your two best friends to beat the shit out of him_

She snapped back to attention when screams began to emit from some of the girls and the students began to scramble onto their desks. Turning around, she heard a loud bang as one of the turtles zoomed into her desk.

She flicked her wand lazily and the turtle coasted to a stop. Picking the poor thing up she glared at her students. "Whose turtle is this?"

The class was silent, loyal to the guilty party.

"Well? Whose is this?"

It was almost _sick_ how loyal her students were.

"I'm going to ask one more time or the _whole_ class will be serving detention tonight. Yes, Ms. Boot, _everyone_. So let's try that again. Whose turtle is this?"

Suddenly James Potter bolted upright in his chair and frantically waved his hand in the air. "Ooo! Pick me Professor! I know the answer! That's _my_ turtle." Then he sat back with a saucy grin.

The students tittered nervously, not sure what was the whole point of Jame's performance. Oh, but _she_ knew. Putting down the turtle with a loud thump, she stalked over to his desk.

All the students turned as one to watch. She barked, "Transfigure, now!" and they hurriedly turned back to avoid their volatile professor.

She then faced the incorrigible boy and was horrified to see Ryan Weasley had joined his cousin in his hand waving performance. Oh no. There's the bouncing in the seat.

She wanted to rip her hair out.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley!"

The two of them looked up at her innocently then chimed together, "Hey Aunt 'Mione!" They grinned when they saw her wince.

"Alright, you two. _Enough_ with the hand waving. It's not at all funny, and I am very disappointed in you two. How dare you take advantage of your fathers to make fun of me. I would have thought better from you two."

She almost smiled when the two boys looked worriedly back at her, under the impression that they had hurt her feelings. She knew they didn't mean any harm. They were really quite protective of their Aunt Hermione.

She walked a few paces away then stopped and gruffly said, "Plus boys, only _I_ know how to do that the best." They chuckled quietly as she walked away.

After class had commenced, James approached her. He cockily stole some candy from her and hopped up onto a desk.

"I'm going to be talking to dad and mum tonight. You want to come? Ryan's going too." He glanced quizzically at her when she let her head drop down onto her desk with a bang.

She huffed in annoyance, "I would absolutely love to, but I have…loads of grading to do. You know, you students don't appreciate us teachers nearly enough. Tell your parents I say hello."

James patted her on the back consolingly and stole another piece of candy. "It's alright. You can talk to them some other time. Any messages you want me to take back to the old man?" Hermione chuckled at the use of 'old man' for Harry.

Well, she _could _always yell at him later for the whole date thing. But…

"Wait James. Could you ask your mum to come over here this Friday? Just tell her I need help with the Hogsmeade thing, she'll know what that means. Oh, and tell that sorry excuse of man you have as a father, that I will not hesitate to stick one of Fred and George's new experiments up…his…as-behind if he tries to set me up again." She smiled sweetly at the boy as he grinned wickedly.

Racing out, he called, "I'll do my best!"

00000

Friday rolled in much too quickly for Hermione's liking. To tell you the truth, she was scared. Dating seemed foreign and awkward now. Since the war, she had just lost her taste in being girly. How in the world was she supposed to survive? On a blind date too?

_10 Reasons why I HATE Harry Potter and Ron Weasley_

_1. They are boys, therefore they think through their heads (cough anatomy wise cough) more than their minds._

_2. Even with this thinking method, they are married while I am not_

_3. They tower over me with their impressive 7 foot selves while I am low enough on the ground to see microscopic bugs milling around_

_4. They're lazy but fun_

_5. I'm hardworking and boring_

_6.They are way too over-protective (I can take care of myself, thank-you!)_

_7. They forget I'm a girl with girly needs and feelings (Hey Hermione, gain some weight there? Or Is it that time of month again?)_

_8. They'll always tell me I'm beautiful…even when I have just rolled in mud_

_9. They are the best friends in the world who locked me in the loo with a troll first year and I can't stay mad at them for long. (I still hold that grudge)_

_10. THEY SET ME UP ON A STUPID BLOODY BLIND DATE_

She morosely stared at herself in the mirror. She was going to pray to the beauty gods and hope that Ginny could help her look pretty.

Suddenly a knock was heard upon her portrait door and she rushed out to open it.

"Hermione!"

She stared wide-eyed as Ginny delicately walked in followed by _five_ elves laden down with bags.

She shuddered when she saw just how much make-up, clothes, hair products, and _stuff_ was inside those bags.

She began to fear for her life when Ginny's beady eyes pinned her down.

Hell began.

00000

After what seemed like hours of torture and pain, she was done. Ginny clapped her hands enthusiastically and squealed. "Oh! You look ravishing! He will drop dead by the time he sees you."

Ginny steered Hermione over to the mirror and smiled when her jaw dropped.

Wiping a fake tear from the corner of her eye, Ginny kissed her on the cheek before silently flooing home. Her work was done.

_I'm…pretty. I am b-e-a-utiful! _Hermione twirled once around and couldn't help but feel sexy and wanted.

Her black cocktail dress was tight and seemed to make her look thin and model-like. She blushed. It also pushed up her bust a whole bunch.

With matching heels, hair soft and curling down her back, she felt like the prettiest woman in the room. Ignoring that fact that she was the _only _woman in the room, she grabbed her purse and strode out of the room and down to the Great Hall where her date would meet her.

She twirled a few times and marveled at the way her dress fluffed out before clinging back to her.

Thank God, the students were at dinner. It would be very unbecoming for them to see their Transfiguration teacher in a skimpy dress and heels.

Walking daintily, she softly sang, "I'm so pretty. Oh, so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and gay! And I pity any girl who isn't me today."

"Merlin, Granger. I pity the girl who's you _any_ day."

She whirled around, cheeks heating up rapidly. Malfoy was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and one leg propped up against the wall. Well, if it isn't the James Dean poster boy.

She shivered as his eyes roved over her body slowly as if calculating her, measuring her up to his standards.

Narrowing her eyes, she scathingly spit out, "Out of my way Ferret. I have a _date_ to go to." His eyes widened in shock and alarm. "Yeah, that's right. Me. On a date. Didn't think a mudblood would get asked out, did you?"

And with that, she haughtily walked past him not willing to see his reaction to her words.

Suddenly his hand shot out and grabbed her by the arm. She gasped at the physical contact. His hand was pleasantly warm and it was all she could do to not close her eyes and lean into that warmth.

Yanking her roughly forward, he whispered to her face, "You clean up nicely. You look almost…pretty."

Then he stalked away, robes billowing out behind him and leaving one disoriented woman behind to her tumbled thoughts.

She must have blushed twenty times when she finally reached the Great Hall. All the portraits couldn't seem to contain themselves and wolf-whistled much to her embarrassment.

A figure stood, back facing her, staring out the windows. She apprehensively approached him and cleared her throat significantly. He whirled around and graced her with a wide smile. Hmm…perfect teeth. Perfect Lockhart molars.

"Good evening, Ms. Granger. You look absolutely wonderful tonight." He beamed at her again and flashed a bright smile.

She smiled in confusion. "I am so terribly sorry to ask this. But, who are you again? Harry refused to tell me who my blind date is so…" She jumped when he reached over and grabbed her hand.

"I, my dear, am Zacharias Smith."

Hermione racked her brain for the familiar name and face. Processing. Search hits: 1. Analyzing. Ahh…a Hufflepuff bloke.

As the couple ambled outside to the awaiting carriage, she observed him. He was fair enough with his blond spike hair, light blue eyes, and pale skin. His voice was nice and comforting too. She might just like him.

That is, until he began to talk.

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"Then I said to myself, 'Zach old pal you've got muster up your courage, spear your pride, and take the first step towards discovery.' So I did! By George, I ate every single bite of that Indian dish."

Sensing a lull in the conversation, Hermione frantically waved for the check. She couldn't believe just how awful this was going. The man never shut up. It was 'Zach old boy' this 'Zach old boy' that. And if Zach old boy didn't shut it, she would start strangling him in an effort to stop his chatter.

She dragged him, protesting loudly, out the door of the restaurant and into the nearest pub she could find. Plonking him down onto the stool next to her, she ordered a bottle of Firewhiskey.

She really did not condone drinking but desperate situations called for desperate measures. Alcohol always helped loosen her up a bit.

She peered over at Zacharias who was toying with his cup of ginger ale. "Oh Zachie, don't you want any alcohol?"

He chortled a bit at her question. "Oh sorry m'dear. I don't drink any alcohol. Ginger ale and milk for me. I'm scared I might lose control." He leaned forward conspiratorially and whispered, "That's why I never go to parties or clubs. After all, I've got to save myself for my marriage. No funny business until then!" Then he laughed heartily, hands on stomach.

_What the hell?_ Who was this guy, a priest? Hermione groaned to herself and chucked the shotglass over her shoulder. Firewhiskey was so much easier to drink from a bottle.

One bottle of Firewhiskey and an excruciating hour later, she was smashed. Zach old boy was so into his own conversation, he didn't notice that Hermione's head had taken on a bobble-head sort of impression.

Hermione alcohol induced mind vaguely registered the blonde man who slid into the seat next to her. However, this was soon overridden by the fact that a shot of Firewhiskey was being handed to this man. Her brain was practically screaming, "Firewhiskey! Firewhiskeeee!"

When the blondie turned around for a second, she reached out and snatched the shot.

"Where's my drink? Hey! That's _my _drink you bitc…Granger?"

Hermione blurrily peered up at Malfoy who was gazing at her in disgusted admiration. She supposed he had never seen her drunk before. Now that she thought of it, this was probably the first time she really had gotten drunk.

He poked her sharply in the arm. "Geez Granger. Never knew you had it in you to get trashed. Which poor bloke are you with, anyways?"

He jumped in alarm when she just slapped him on the back and began to giggle. Trying valiantly to sit up straight, she batted her eyelashes at him.

Malfoy grimaced. _Oh god, the bint is trying to flirt with me._ He waved over the bartender.

"Excuse, but who was she," another poke in the arm, "with?"

The bartender chuckled loudly. "Aw man. You should see the pansy she had as date. He doesn't drink nothin' 'cept gingy ale. He's sitting right next to her, reciting Shake 'n Speare. I don't blame her one bit for getting' slammed."

Malfoy ducked his head behind a still giggling Hermione and peered at her date. The bartender _was_ right. The man was reenacting a scene from 'Romeo and Juliet.'

Shaking his head, he got up and tapped the man on the shoulder.

"Hey Shakespeare pouf. I'm taking Granger back up to the castle. Your little date's over, okay?"

Zacharias didn't seem to take kindly to the intrusion. "If you don't mind, I was in the middle of an entrancing performance for my date. However, you have just ruined it and disappointed her. Isn't that right m'dear?" He peered over at Hermione for confirmation.

She wasn't there.

Malfoy looked around in horror and saw a flash of brown hair stagger out the door. Having a Granger in the world was bad enough. But unleashing a drunk Granger?

"Shit."

He hurried out the door after her, cursing loudly as he left.

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**I want to thank all the b-e-a-utiful people who reviewed on my first chapter. You guys keep my mind working!**


	3. Misconceptions and Drunken Relationships

**Disclaimer: You know I don't own squat.**

**Hey everyone, I'm back from the dead! Sorry it took so long to update but here it is and enjoy.**

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Hermione staggered out of another pub and hiccupped loudly, the bottle in her hand sloshing dangerously.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and reached over to pluck the almost empty bottle. He put his ear up to the glass and swished it softly. Almost empty.

He glared at Hermione. "You are going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. You deserve it too, putting me through this hell."

He cautiously took a step back when her eyes suddenly focused on him. She pointed rather dramatically at his face and poked his nose.

"You!"

Malfoy swatted her finger away angrily. "Yeah, you drunk bitch. Me."

"Want to hear a joke?"

The mere randomness of the question threw him off and he could only stand there, staring foolishly at her.

She ignored him and barreled on. "Do you know what the Dentist Terminator said? Do you? Do you? Do you?"

Malfoy grabbed her by the wrist and began to tug her along, back to Hogwarts. "No, Granger. I don't know, nor do I care to know."

"Well, Mr. Malfoy. I shall tell you. He said," she paused for emphasis then continued on in what she perceived to be an Austrian accent, "I'll…be…plaque."

Then she began to wheeze, tears pouring down her face as she laughed at her own joke.

Malfoy had no idea what a Dentist Terminator, hell, he didn't even know what plaque was. What he did know, was that Granger was officially breaking all the rules that Hogwarts tried to enforce for _students_.

He didn't even want to think about teacher protocols.

Finally they reached the castle and Malfoy resorted to a _Silencio!_ to keep her mouth shut. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with Granger. Maybe he could just stun her and leave the body on the floor.

In the end he decided to take her to his room to sober her out. After all, he might still be able to use this incident as blackmail.

Dragging her along, he muttered the password and entered the room, collapsing onto his couch in exhaustion. He watched his colleague stumble around in droll amusement as she attempted to touch everything in her path, squealing every now and then like a little kid. She finally collapsed down onto the couch next to him and turned to him, head cocked and eyes wide.

"Do you think I'm a hot piece of arse?"

Draco blinked. Judging by the concentration on her face, it had taken a lot of grit for her to ask him this, drunk or not drunk.

He paused and carefully ventured, "I suppose you're pretty when you clean yourself up a bit." His smirk turned into a grimace when Hermione suddenly erupted into loud racking sobs.

"It's always happens this way!" she cried. "I never get a decent date except with idiotic blokes like Zacharias Smith. Even that was a _bli_nd date!"

Shoving her head into Draco's chest she wailed, "I don't want to be pretty! I want to be Hot! Hot, do you hear? HOT!" Then she loudly blew her nose on the front of his robes leaving a sort of yellowish secretion on his otherwise spotless black clothes.

Draco stared at his robes in disgust vainly trying to ignore the fact that Granger was now conveniently using his shoulder to violently rub her wet eyes against. He firmly pushed her away.

"Fine, Granger. You are a _hot_ piece of arse. Happy?" he asked, not noticing that the hysterical woman had suddenly turned quiet. He did notice, though, when her face began to near his. Her eyes were shiny with tears and her lips were full and pink from all the chewing she had done to them.

Hermione eyes flickered to his lips before gazing back up. "Thanks, Malfoy. For calling me a piece of hot arse," she whispered softly, eyes once more flickering down to his lips. For some odd reason, he found that he could not move away, much less push her face from nearing his.

And somewhere deep in his mind, he was hoping for those pink, full lips to _accidentally_ touch his own. He watched as Hermione shifted a bit closer to him lips slightly parted and panting a bit. Suddenly her eyes widened and her panting began to increase so that she sounded like she was having an asthma attack.

Malfoy panicked and wildly looked around the room for some water. '_Where the hell was some water when you needed it?_' he thought desperately. He'd be damned if his hated colleague decided to keel over in _his_ room and dirty up _his_ carpet.

However, his fears were allayed when she stopped panting. He watched suspiciously as her breathing slowed and her eyes became their usual size. He was just about to push her away, when she ducked her head down. Of course, being the curious guy that he was, he followed her gaze to his shiny leather shoes, gleaming in the flickering of the candle's light. She stumbled lightly and he began to panic again when her body shuddered wildly and her chest heaved.

To say that his panic escalated, would be putting it mildly. After all, any _normal_ guy would panic if his shiny leather shoes were suddenly covered with someone's vomit.

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_Where the hell am I?_

Hermione groaned loudly as the sun hit her eyes. She felt terrible. Her head was pounding, her mouth was pasty, and her whole body felt sore. Hangover.

She groaned again and vainly tried to cover her eyes. She was so _stu_pid. Getting drunk on a date? She was practically asking for the guy to rape her. She cautiously uncovered her eyes and looked around.

_Not my bed, not my couch, not my desk, not my books, not my room. Oh yeah, not my clothes either_.

Not…clothes? Clothes!

Hermione scrambled up and began to hyperventilate. Did she…did she…do _it_? With… _Zacharias Smith_?

Oh dear Lord.

Feeling incredibly nauseous, she bolted into what she thought was the bathroom and hurled spectacularly into the porcelain bowl. She was barely aware of the hands that gently held back her thick hair.

"You're a bitch for doing this to me, Muddy."

Oh shit. Him.

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"Hey, Pop."

Harry Potter wrinkled his nose in distaste and peered doubtfully at his son. "Where'd you get a name like that?"

James grinned down at the floating head in the fireplace. "Cass says that's what people in America call their dads." He smirked. "They also call their dads 'old man'."

Harry winced at the term and shook his head violently. "Actually, Pop is a rather nice name," he said brightly. His eyes narrowed slightly. "What _is_ up with you and Cass Zabini, anways? You guys going out yet?"

"Dad!" James cried out angrily. "We're just friends, like you and Aunt Hermione."

Harry looked over at his son appraisingly. "You know James, I didn't get with your mother until I was sixteen and even then we were going slow."

James laughed loudly. "Oh, dad. That was the _old_ days. Plus you were _spe_cial; fighting U-Kno-Poo and all. I mean, how can you compare me to…"

He broke off and jerked his head up at the loud roar that seemed to resonate the halls. Harry craned his head up and looked worriedly around. "What in the hell was that?" They both flinched as the door suddenly slammed open and the beast reared back its head and roared again.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!"

Harry jumped and looked up guiltily at one of his best friends. "Eh, hello lovely," he chirped out.

Hermione marched over, ignoring James, and prodded Harry's forehead. "Hello to you too, you piece of traitorous dung. Whatever made you and Ron want to set me up with Zacharias Smith? You don't even like him!" She raised a warning hand as he tried to speak. "Wait, I'm not done. So I go on the date and I feel _so_ horrible, I get smashed silly and guess who's bed I wake up in?" She growled menacingly as he once again tried to open his mouth. "MALFOY! BLOODY DRACO MALFOY'S BED!"

And in the midst of Harry's whining explanations, one black haired boy slipped out unnoticed, practically bouncing with the gossip of the century.

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Hermione sighed happily as she bit into her warm blueberry muffin quietly surveying her students once more. Everything seemed to have leveled off with Harry and Ron promising not to set her up anymore and Malfoy not speaking to her.

Life seemed good.

She peered over at the doors as a large group of students began passing out the monthly paper to all the students. She had been so proud when Cass and James decided to start up the Hogwarts Rag. The students seemed to actually read the paper and the staff was very organized and efficient. _'Children after my own heart,'_ she thought fondly.

The students seemed especially excited this issue and were whispering feverishly while glancing up at the staff every so often. Probably some heinous scandal none of the students wanted the teachers to find out about.

She had just taken another bite of her muffin, when the rest of it was rudely snatched out of her hand. She turned around to angrily scold the ill-mannered person who had taken her muffin but then noticed that it was only Malfoy. "Do you enjoy eating my saliva covered muffins?" she inquired sweetly. He merely rolled his eyes, continued chewing, and then slapped down a copy of the paper in front of her.

She exasperatedly humored him and let her eyes glance at the front cover. Here eyes skimmed the page, then skimmed it again, widening with horror as the minutes passed

"_PROFESSOR GRANGER AND PROFESSOR MALFOY LOVE?"_

_According to James Potter, Professor Hermione Granger, the Transfiguration profressor, woke up not in her own room but one of another Professor a few nights ago. During a conversation with the famous Harry Potter, Professor Granger revealed how she had gone on a disaster of a blind date and had been a little inebriated. Professor Malfoy's heart melted at such a helpless sight and eagerly allowed her into his room. Although the news has not been confirmed such as yet, rumors are stating that the two professors are now dating._

_-Cass Chang-Zabini_

Hermione looked up in horror at Malfoy and gestured helplessly at the paper. Still speechless, she pointed at him, then herself, and then at the paper. Gazing out into the suddenly quiet hall, she noticed all faces turned towards her direction. It seemed they were expecting a scene of some sort; maybe even a confession.

Letting out a strangled cry, she snatched back her muffin from Malfoy's hand before sweeping out the door, head held up high.

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To say the least, classes were hard for both professors that day. Not only did students refuse to pay attention during the actual lesson, but any mention of article made them sit straight up, eyes wide and raptly listening.

Over and over, she had adamantly denied the said 'romance' but the majority of the school seemed to find it _cute_ and _roman_tic. Thus her hysterical shouts were listened with deaf ears. Something about lusting after your enemy being the highest rated bad boy romance flick, had the girls sighing and the boys regarding Malfoy in perverted admiration.

But bear it she did. At least Malfoy had stopped pilfering her half-eaten muffins and he had altogether stopped even uttering a single word in her direction.

She peered down the hall suspiciously. She could have sworn she heard the swish of robes. Shaking her head ruefully, she continued down the dark hall eager to take a hot shower. Suddenly her arm was brutally grabbed and a warm hand clapped over her mouth, halting her mid-scream.

She struggled a bit before aggressively biting down on the hand and viciously butting her head back so that she hit her assailant. She was rewarded with a loud yell and curses. "Christ, Granger. What the hell?" she heard.

Turning around, she glared at the ruffled blonde and rolled her eyes. "Quit being such a drama queen, you pouf." She glared as he clutched his head and added. "Plus you deserve it, you perverted kidnapper."

Malfoy lifted his hands off his now bruising forehead and scowled. "Well _excuse_ me. I just thought you might appreciate speaking to me when no one else can oogle at us." He threw up his hands. "I guess I was wrong! Who knows, maybe you do like being _hitc_hed to me."

Hermione stomped her foot on the cobbled floor childishly. "Don't even so much as wonder about my less than hostile feelings towards _you_." She crossed her arms angrily. "You're a despicable ugly specimen of a ferret."

She warily took a step backward when he turned to her, a leering smile on his face. "What-what do you think you're doing?" she stammered, stumbling away from as he began to slowly near her.

"Come on, Granger," he drawled. "I'm not _tha_t ugly." His face loomed over hers and his breath ghosted over her lips.

Hermione inwardly groaned. Great. What ever happened to personal space? Panicking, she hurriedly bent her foot as far back as possible and delivered a vicious kick to the shin. She was amused at his yowls of pain, to say the least.

Leaning against the wall, she watched as he grabbed his injured leg and began hopping up and down in agitation. She laughed loudly as he bumped into desks and chairs while cursing loudly.

Suddenly he tripped over the desk nearest her and began to topple towards her, his arms waving wildly. With a loud whump he collapsed on her, making both of them fall to the hard floor.

The first thing Hermione noticed, once her mind wasn't reeling in pain, was the heavy and very warm _somet_hing lying across her body. She felt like she had just woken up from a dream and began to desperately hope so when she noticed just _what_ was lying across her.

She blinked her eyes rapidly in a desperate act to wake herself from this horrid nightmare. After many failed attempts and resulting in only red and watered eyes, she attempted to push Malfoy off of her. She failed.

So preoccupied with the task at hand, she barely noticed the door opening. Suddenly a gasp was heard then the bright flash lit up the room followed by titters and the slamming of the door as whoever had just come in, ran out.

Hermione had a pretty strong feeling of what the flash was. But instead of finding the culprit, she merely lay there.

She began to blink her eyes again. Nightmare, indeed.

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**Read and Review. Oh yeah, and cookie to whoever gets the crappy joke Hermione made when she was drunk. If you guess who right...I'll...give youa special response!**


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